COMPUTER INFO (HINDI) कंप्यूटर इन्फो (हिंदी) : KNOW ABOUT - Windows 10 में Downloads फ़ोल्डर से फ...

COMPUTER INFO (HINDI) कंप्यूटर इन्फो (हिंदी) : KNOW ABOUT - Windows 10 में Downloads फ़ोल्डर से फ...: वेब से एक फ़ाइल डाउनलोड करते हैं, तब वह फ़ाइल डिफ़ॉल्ट रूप से डाउनलोड फ़ोल्डर में डाउनलोड की जाती है।  वेब से सॉफ़्टवेयर और अन्य फ़ाइल...

Simple cleaning techniques that never go wrong



Want to be a domestic goddess but having trouble getting that elusive crown? Not every woman is blessed with the natural gift of having amazing housekeeping skills. 

But that doesn't mean you can't learn. Start by learning basic things , cleaners, detergents, powders, etc. And make sure you don't make these mistakes:

- If you have wooden flooring in any part of the house, make sure that you don't ever clean it with water. Mopping a wooden floor with water will be its death knell , it will damage the wooden flooring in no time. Use a slightly damp cloth to clean it instead. The idea is to minimize the use of water as much as you can. The same goes for laminated floors as well.

- While polishing your wooden furniture, don't go overboard with the polish. While it might make the furniture look shiny and new, it can also make smears look more noticeable, which is the last thing you want. Instead, just use a clean cloth every other day to keep your furniture clean and use the polish sparingly for special occasions.

- Whether you're the most careful person in your family or not, everyone spills things. Even the smallest and most innocuous things can cause ghastly stains on your lovely upholstery, carpets or clothes. Instead of reaching out for some water and scrubbing the stain with your fingers, use a tissue paper or a dry towel to blot out the stain. Keep the stained item in a bucket of water and detergent and try the blotting technique again.

- Thanks to the omnipresent dust and pollution in Mumbai, windows get dirty very quickly. But the trick is to clean your windows after the sun has set or before the sun rays hit your windows. This is because the harsh rays of the sun can cause the cleaning liquid to make streaks across the glass , just the thing you don't want.




SOURCE - TOI

ये साधारण घरेलू तरीके अपना लेंगे तो उड़े हुए बाल भी फिर से उग आएंगे



  1.  वर्तमान समय में बाल झडऩा, पतले होना, असमय पकना, डेंड्रफ होना, बालों का दोमुंहा होना जैसी बालों की समस्याएं आम हो चुकी हैं, लेकिन यदि कम उम्र में गंजेपन की समस्या होने लगे तो तनाव होना वाजिब है। बालों की समय से पहले गिरने की समस्या यदि आनुवंशिक हो तो उसे एंड्रोजेनिक एलोपेसिया कहा जाता है। इस समस्या से परेशान पुरुषों में बाल गिरने की समस्या किशोरावस्था से ही हो सकती है, जबकि महिलाओं में इस प्रकार बाल गिरने की समस्या 30 के बाद उत्पन्न होती है। इसके अलावा खान-पान और पर्यावरण प्रदूषण व दवाई के रिएक्शन व कई अन्य कारणों की वजह से कम उम्र में गंजेपन की समस्या हो सकती है। यदि आप भी कम उम्र में गंजेपन की समस्या से जूझ रहे हैं तो आज हम आपको बताने जा रहे हैं गंजापन दूर करने के कुछ घरेलू उपाय....
  2. नमक का अधिक सेवन करने से गंजापन आ जाता है। नमक, काली मिर्च एक-एक चम्मच व नारियल का तेल पांच चम्मच मिलाकर गंजेपन वाले स्थान पर लगाने से बाल आ जाते हैं।
  3. बाल झड़ते हैं तो हल्के गर्म जैतून के तेल में एक चम्मच शहद और एक चम्मच दालचीनी पाउडर का पेस्ट बनाएं। नहाने से पहले इस पेस्ट को सिर पर लगा लें। 15 मिनट बाद बाल गुनगुने पानी से सिर को धोएं। कुछ ही दिनों बाल झड़ने की समस्या दूर हो जाएगी।
  4. आंवला के फलों का चूर्ण दही में मिलाकर हल्के-हल्के हाथों से सिर पर मालिश करें और 5 मिनट बाद गुनगुने पानी से बालों को साफ कर लें। कुछ दिनों तक ऐसा करने से बाल स्वस्थ हो जाते हैं और डेंड्रफ भी दूर हो जाता है।
  5. कलौंजी को पीसकर पानी में मिला लें। इस पानी से बालों को कुछ दिनों तक धोने से बाल झड़ना बंद हो जाते हैं और घने होना शुरू हो जाते हैं।
  6. नीम की पत्तियों और आंवले के चूर्ण को पानी में डालकर उबाल लें और सप्ताह में कम से कम एक बार इस पानी से सिर को धोएं। ऐसा करने से कुछ ही समय में बाल झड़ना बंद हो जाता है।
  7. गेंदे के फूलों का रस नारियल तेल के साथ मिलाकर उससे हल्की-हल्की मालिश करके नहा लिया जाए तो सिर में हुए किसी भी तरह के संक्रमण, फोड़े- फुंसियों में आराम मिल जाता है।
  8. बहेड़ा के बीजों के चूर्ण को नारियल या जैतून के तेल में मिलाकर गुनगुना गर्म किया जाए और इस तेल को बालों पर लगाया जाए तो बाल चमकदार हो जाते हैं। बालों की जड़ें भी मजबूत हो जाती हैं। बालों की समस्याओं में हर्बल जानकारों के अनुसार त्रिफला का सेवन हितकर माना गया है।
  9. गुड़हल के रस को नहाने से 10 मिनिट पहले सिर पर लगाया जाए तो इससे बालों के काला होने में मदद मिलती है। यह एक बेहतरीन कंडीशनर की तरह काम करता है।
  10. शिकाकाई के बीजों को कुचलकर, एक कटोरे में लेकर पानी में डुबो दिया जाए और सारी रात रख दिया जाए। सुबह इस पानी से बालों की धोया जाए तो ये एक नेचुरल शैम्पू की तरह काम करता है। आदिवासी जानकारों के अनुसार इसका इस्तेमाल बालों को चमकदार और स्वस्थ बनाने के साथ, बालों का दोमुंहा होना बंद कर देता है।
  11. तिल के तेल से बालों की मालिश करना बेहतर माना जाता है। आदिवासी हर्बल जानकारों की मानी जाए तो तिल के तेल में थोड़ी-सी मात्रा गाय के घी और अमरबेल के चूर्ण में मिला ली जाए और सिर पर रात में सोने से पहले लगा लिया जाए तो बाल चमकदार, खूबसूरत होने के साथ घने हो जाते हैं और यही फार्मूला गंजेपन को रोकने में मदद भी करता है।
  12. मेथी की सब्जी का ज्यादा सेवन बालों की सेहत के लिए उत्तम माना जाता है। मेथी के बीजों का चूर्ण तैयार करके पानी के साथ मिलाया जाए और पेस्ट बना लिया जाए। इस पेस्ट को सिर पर लेप करके आधे घंटे के लिए छोड़ दिया जाए और बाद में इसे धो लिया जाए। ऐसा करने से बालों से डेंड्रफ खत्म हो जाते हैं। ऐसा सप्ताह में कम से कम दो बार किया जाना चाहिए
  13. अमरबेल के पौधे से रस तैयार किया जाए और सिर पर प्रतिदिन सुबह एक सप्ताह तक लगाया जाए तो सिर से डेंड्रफ नदारद हो जाएगी, साथ ही बालों का झडऩे का सिलसिला भी कम हो जाता है। आम के पेड पर चढी हुई अमरबेल को उबालकर उस पानी से स्नान किया जाए तो गंजापन दूर होता है।
  14. सहजन की पत्तियों के रस को लगा कर प्रतिदिन नहाने से सिर से रूसी या डेंड्रफ खत्म हो जाती है। इस रस का इस्तेमाल कम से कम एक सप्ताह तक करना जरूरी है। सहजन की फलियों को उबालकर पल्प तैयार किया जाए और नहाते वक्त इस पल्प को सिर पर शैंपू की तरह इस्तेमाल किया जाए तो यह बाजार में उपलब्ध किसी भी विटामिन ई युक्त शैंपू से बेहतर साबित होगा। आधुनिक विज्ञान भी सहजन में पाए जाने वाले विटामिन ई को बालों के लिए लाभकारी मानता है।
  15. जटामांसी की जड़ों को नारियल के तेल के साथ उबालकर ठंडा होने के बाद प्रतिदिन रात को सोने से पहले इससे मालिश की जाए तो असमय बालों का पकना और झडऩा रुक जाता है
Source..Bhaskar

Know - About LPG gas cylinder’s expire date



Have u ever heard about LPG gas cylinder’s expire date. I also didn’t know.
How to find LPG cylinder’s expiry date?

Very important information.
Most of us do not know this. I came to know today from the gas stockiest, because here one accident occurred.

Do you know that there is an expiry date (physical life) for LPG cylinders?

Expired Cylinders are not safe for use and may cause accidents. In this regard please be 

cautious at the time of accepting any LPG cylinder from the vendor.
Here is how we can check the expiry of LPG cylinders: 
On one of three side stems of the cylinder, the expiry date is coded alphanumerically as 

follows A or B or C or D and some two digit number following this e.g. D06.
The alphabets stand for quarters –
— A for March (First Qtr) 
– B for June (Second Qtr) 
– C for Sept (Third Qtr) 
– D for December (Fourth Qtr)

The digits stand for the year till it is valid.
Hence D06 would mean December qtr of 2006.

your kind cooperation will save
life of many people and create awareness among the public.
Souece - Facebook

5 Healthy Living Tips for Young Men



While it's important for everyone to engage in healthy living practices, regardless of age, gender or physical fitness level, it's especially important to begin these good habits early on in life. Many people find that by establishing good living habits and lifestyle practices at a young age, it becomes much easier to maintain them and stay healthy throughout the rest of their life.

There are a few healthy living tips that young men everywhere should consider following in order to be healthy not only while they're still young, but as they get older as well. Read on for a few of these basic guidelines.

1. Exercise Regularly

While many young men already participate in sports or other activities, it's essential that you continue to practice these things. It can be much easier to participate in exercise activities while you're in school than it is after you've graduated and have begun to take on a job and other responsibilities. It's crucial that you continue to make regular exercise a part of your life. Plan to get a good workout of some kind on four to six days per week.

2. Don't Push Yourself too Hard

Because many young men are in excellent shape, it can be difficult for those who are not quite as fit to engage in exercise programs. The temptation is often there to push oneself further and harder than is safe or healthy. Always keep in mind your own fitness level and do not push yourself beyond your capacity. This will only lead to discouragement and, even worse, to potential injury.
3. Eat Right

Eating healthily is an important way of maintaining your overall health, regardless of your age. Because many young men have strong metabolisms and seem to be able to eat a lot of food without gaining weight, it's easy to take this as an excuse to eat whatever you want. Keep in mind, however, that the food that you eat may have a bearing on a lot more than just your weight. Your exercise levels, fitness, stamina and long term health are all affected by what you eatl.

4. Avoid Drinking and Smoking

Many young men smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol. While engaging in either of these practices in moderation has become common throughout the United States and the world, they are still not considered to be healthy living practices. Abstain from drinking and smoking if at all possible. At the very least, you'll be healthier if you do not smoke or drink to excess at any time. Because these habits are also quite expensive to maintain, you'll find that you'll be much better able to save money by limiting the amount that you drink and smoke.

5. Visit the Doctor

It's important to get a regular physical exam and to have any medical issues checked out by a doctor. The fact that you're a young man doesn't mean that you aren't subject to important medical concerns.
Source - Fitday

12 Tips To Fight Cancer


Cancer is a deadly disease. A silent assassin, it strikes in the dead of the night and a victim realizes it only when it’s too late. Here are some tips and precautionary measures will help in further combating against the evils of cancer.

1. Drink Ample of Water

Water is a vital element for our existence. Drinking water in adequate quantity will ensure perfect functioning of the digestive system, flawless bladder operation, hydration, and tonnes of other benefits.

2. Keep a Tab On Alcohol Consumption 

Alcohol is linked to numerous types of cancer, especially breast cancer in women, and hence it is advisable to consume less or no alcohol if possible. Breast cancer can also occur in obese males, and hence, precautionary measures need to be taken.

3. Drink Green Tea 
Green tea has always been a staple diet of Asians, and hence it is an observed trend that constant green tea drinkers are capable of eliminating the risk of a variety of cancer, especially prostate cancer. So grab that mug and pour yourself some healthy tea.

4. Keep Exercising Keeping your body fit and yourself active is the easiest and fail-safe method to stop your body from malfunctioning. This will ensure you’re keeping a tab on your weight and keeping away all the cancer for good.

5. Avoid Smoking 

Smoking is the main killer when it comes to lung cancer. A deadly and addictive element, tobacco’s fatality quotient is quite high on every scale. Don’t smoke, and if you are addicted to smoking, quit it, pronto!

6. Eat Garlic 

We Indians have it easy in this case. Garlic being a staple ingredient in every Indian dish, it provides a treasure chest of sulphur compounds that may stimulate the immune system’s natural defences against cancer, and may have the potential to reduce tumour growth!

7. Reduce Red Meat Consumption

Animal fat has an affinity of running higher risk in many types of cancer, especially colon cancer. Reducing red meat consumption will ensure lesser stress on your digestive system and lesser chances of cancer. Poultry or fish meat is preferred in such cases.

8. Eat Smart

Avoid food products that are loaded with high percentage of calories. Fat free and natural food should always be consumed. Avoiding food products with artificial sweetners also helps in cutting down the risk of cancer. Stick to high-fibre food loaded with all the necessary active ingredients.

9. Eat Green

Keeping a healthy vegetarian diet comprising of green vegetables like broccoli, spinach, etc. drastically cuts down the risk of running prostate cancer and even heart diseases. That’s not all; they’re known to pack a treasure chest of other vital elements that help you keep fit and strong!

10. Check Family History
Genetics and the works play a major role in cancer. A family with cancer history runs a greater risk of keeping the trend intact for the following generations. Have a thorough look at your family’s illness history and consult a doctor for a professional perspective.

11. Cut Down Supplements

Remember a golden rule, anything artificial that isn’t a part of your body and its functioning shouldn’t be consumed. Do you exercise? Stop taking those muscle enhancing supplements. Actively consume antibiotics and fairly unnecessary medicines? Search for safer natural alternative. Keeping your body clean and pure from within goes a long way!

12. Have Regular Check-ups

Cancer is a disease that isn’t usually visible in most of the cases, and neither can it be deciphered from its symptoms in the early stage. Hence, go for regular check-ups. A routine check-up will help you in keeping a tab over your body, detect early stage cancer if any, as well as ease the stress of any cancer-related apprehension in the older age!
Source - lifestyle.yahoo

Skincare tips for the summer

As the summer rages on, protect your skin so you don’t have to suffer from the season’s skin problems.

Your skin needn’t take the brunt of the heat this season. We have for you, some tips that’ll help keep your skin fresh and dewy, even as the mercury continues to stay high.

Stay hydrated. Your body tends to lose a lot of moisture in the summer, so it’s important to regularly replenish the H2O. Drink a lot of water and liquids and your skin will stay soft and moisturised as well.

Go for a water-based moisturiser. Don’t make the mistake of skipping the moisturising routine altogether as its essential for your skin to remain hydrated. However, if you find your regular moisturiser too oily, go for a water-based one.

Cool your skin. Blending half a cucumber and 1 tbsp of yoghurt in the mixer can make another simple and effective homemade face pack. Apply this to your face for 15 minutes and feel completely pampered.

Ditch those aerated drinks. Most people have the tendency to reach out for an ice cold aerated drink to quench their thirst on a really hot day. However, it’s important to remember that these drinks are full of sugar that is not good for your skin or your figure. Instead drink some water, fresh lime, fresh fruit juices, aam panna (green mango drink) or coconut water to stay hydrated. It’s also best to minimise the intake of diuretics like alcohol and caffeine as they reduce the water from your system.

Get that warm, summer glow. Papaya is full of natural goodness and you can even use it as a homemade pack. Just mash 2 tbsp of papaya with a tsp of honey and 1 egg white. Leave the mixture on your face for about 15 minutes and enjoy the glow you get afterwards.

Cleanse your face twice a day. At least! This is important to do even if you’ve been home all day and feel like your skin is clean. Cleansing and moisturising your skin before sleeping is an absolute must.
Don’t like your tan? Gram flour can also be used as a facemask to get rid of an uneven tan. Mix it with yoghurt and a few drops of lemon and apply and leave it on your face till it’s dry. The citrus properties of the lemon are very effective in removing the tan.

Use a toner. It’s important to keep your pores closed and skin cool by using a toner. Look for a brand that suits you or try rose water. Its natural cooling properties make it an excellent toner for the hot season.
Skincare tips for the summer
Exfoliate. More than the rest of the year, it’s really important to exfoliate your skin in the summer to remove dead skin and improve blood circulation to the face. Choose from any of the cosmetic scrubs available in the market or make one at home. Try this simple one using 4 to 5 tbsps of gram flour, a pinch of turmeric, 5 – 6 drops of rose water and milk or yoghurt. Mix it into a paste and use it to exfoliate your face. Follow it up with a facemask and moisturiser.

Bonus tip. Eat healthy, exercise and sleep well! The holy trinity of good health and glowing skin holds true for the whole year. So along with all the tips above, don’t forget to eat a balanced diet, work out for at least 45 minutes everyday and get 7 to 8 hours of sleep. Enjoy the summer!

Sun protection. If you can, try and stay indoors between 11am and 3pm. That’s when the sun’s rays are the strongest and can have an adverse effect on your skin. Also, don’t forget to apply that all-important sunscreen 30 minutes before you step out. If you’ve been out in the sun for a few hours, touch it up again so you’re well protected.
Source - lifestyle.yahoo

Expert tips: Healthy hair and skin this Holi


Expert tips: Healthy hair and skin this Holi

Don’t end up red in the face after you finish playing Holi! Follow these tips to keep your skin and hair looking healthy and shiny, even after a day of fun and games.

Precautions to take before you start playing Holi

Prevention is always better than cure – even when it comes to enjoying the colourful festival of Holi! Take these precautions before you set out to play, so you don’t end up causing long-term damage to your hair and skin.
Buy only natural or organic colours that are water-soluble. Avoid glitter and paint and metallic colours, as they can be very harmful.
  1. Oil your hair well before you start playing. Coconut oil and olive oil are good options to protect your hair from harsh colours.
  2. Also apply some oil behind your ears, ear lobes and nails as these are points were the colour really tends to settle.
  3. You can further protect your nails by covering them with nail polish.
  4. Similarly, put lip balm or lipstick on your lips to protect those as well.
  5. Use a toner to close the pores on your face before you head out. This way, you reduce the chances of colour going in too deep.
  6. Don’t forget to wear waterproof sunscreen before you step out for a day in the sun!
  7. Wear clothes that cover most of your body. These clothes should be in a lightweight, easy-to-dry material. Avoid heavy fabrics like denim that don’t dry easily.
  8. It’s a good idea to wear a thick scarf or bandana to cover your hair.
  9. Don’t wear lenses when you go out to play! While Holi colours by themselves cause irritability, lenses have a tendency to absorb the colour, thereby making things worse. Wear glasses and keep wiping them clean from time to time.
After you’re done playing Holi 

While the precautions you have taken before playing will help you immensely, there are a few points you must keep in mind even after you’re done.
  1. Holi can be exhausting! But remember to clean up before you take a nap or start relaxing. The longer you let the colour stay, the harder it’ll be to remove.
  2. Remember to dust off the dry colour before you hit the shower.
  3. Use a mild cleanser, not a harsh detergent to remove the colour.
  4. Clean your face using cotton dabbed in moisturising cream or oil. It’s a myth that kerosene or nail polish remover help remove colour. Avoid those at any cost.
  5. If a mild cleanser doesn’t quite do the job, try using a scrub. An apricot scrub or even a homemade scrub should suffice. But excessive scrubbing or rubbing may damage your skin and can cause irritation.
  6. Wash your hair using a mild shampoo, but don’t overuse the shampoo. If the colour doesn’t come off your scalp in one try, just let it stay on and shampoo again in a day or two.
  7. All that colour and shampoo will tend to dry out your scalp. Definitely use a conditioner after.
  8. Remember it may take few days to get rid of whole colour, don’t try to remove the colour from whole body at the first go.
Reviewed by Dr.Bhushan Madke, Dermatologist
Source - lifestyle.yahoo

VASTU TIPS FOR YOUR HOME



In an ideal world, a home should be a labour of love, a sanctuary you come back to after a hectic day of facing the world. Unfortunately, most of us live in structures of brick and mortar that really cannot be called homes. The love, warmth and joy that characterises a home has gone missing in our fast-paced life.

The reason for this is that in the hectic course of our lives, we have deviated from the ancient principles of Vaastu.
                               Window

Vaastu Shastra is based on the principle that a home is an abode of a living soul, the dwelling place of the entity called the Vaastu Purush.

The Vaastu Purush, according to the Matsya Purana , was born out of the sweat of Lord Shiva when he was dueling with a demon. The droplet fell on earth and turned into the prostrate figure of the cosmic man, or the Vaastu Purush.

The resting form of this cosmic man has been the basis of Hindu architecture.

The figure is lying down on earth with his head towards the north- east, feet towards south- west, and the hands pointing north- west and south- east. It is these magnetic directions that turn a house into a home.

Here are some other tips for building a house according to the principles of Vaastu Shastra and thereby ensuring a confluence of positive energies: The kitchen should be built in the south- east corner of the house with the cooking area facing east.

The bedroom should be located in the south- west with the headboard of the bed facing the south.

The bathroom should be in the east and if for some reason that’s not possible, then the geyser should be installed in the south-east corner.
Source - lifestyle.yahoo

How to explain rape to a 5-year-old

Murder is kosher. War needs no introduction. Even school shootings make the cut at the dinner table. But rape? No. Never. We never talk about it.

My daughter, nearly five, can read. She reads fairy-tales aloud, she reads shop-signs from a moving car (we’ve successfully deflected her attention from the ‘Piles and Fistula’ clinics in the proletarian parts of town), she spots hilarious if confounding legends on the backs of auto-rickshaws (yes, we’ve had engrossing family debates over ‘Mother is god, lover is danger’) and she catches typos in the fliers that the paperboy gets paid for tucking into our breakfast reading.

When she’s really bored, she reads the newspapers.

At home we get two dailies, three on weekends. Since December 17, the headlines have consistently screamed a certain four-letter word in our faces. It has latched onto our consciences and eaten into the comfortable fabric of our lives. Despite such bombardment, we cannot escape being startled to violent, impotent rage every time it is uttered. The images it evokes are unbearably terrifying, even dooming. Yet, as we attempt to shrug away the deluge of horror stories now pouring out of the prisons where they have long been locked away, we hear and read that this – this thing – is more commonplace than we imagined. That it could be only a single frightening degree of separation from our sheltered lives. 

It is rape we’re not talking about. Although we have all read enough to be informed that we must talk about it. But when we nod our heads in agreement in a social situation we’re talking detachedly about the lives of others – people we don’t know, over whose pains we shall never lose sleep.

And the headlines they continue to scream, telling of shocking tragedies that we pray we won’t ever have the misfortune to endure. If we’re careful, we whisper soothingly to ourselves, if we’re careful. 

It’s only a matter of time before my daughter, who has learned to argue with conviction about her “fundamental rights”, asks me what rape means. We’ve discussed everything from butterfly migration (“Where are the blue butterflies we saw last year?”) to retail supply chains (“Where do the toys in toy stores come from?”), all in answer to direct, sharply framed questions from which there is no weaseling out. To her, I’m the fount of encyclopedic wisdom, the Jedi master who unlocks the mysteries of the Force. I can’t afford to let her down. Or she might go and find out from somewhere – or someone – else.

When I’m not Superdad, I’m a cog in a media machine where news is chosen not for its salience but for its propensity to turn casual, accidental readers like you into patrons who will come back for more. We media-types place rape high among our priorities, right up there next to the Bollywood starlet’s wardrobe malfunction and anything cricket. It’s a hot-ticket item with great stamina and shelf-life, what with all the moralistic chest-thumping and TV debates and candle-light marches and water-cannon-baiting protestors. Oh yeah, we devote a lot of space to rape. 

But we don’t talk about it. Not at home.

Murder is kosher. War needs no introduction. Even school shootings make the cut at the dinner table. But rape? No. Never. 

And not just because we fear or loathe it, but because somewhere in our heads we confuse it with carnal knowledge – an unwelcome, premature, irreversible initiation to life’s embarrassing truths. 

Talking about rape isn’t like clearing your throat, putting on a poker-face, and delivering a preamble on birds and bees and dogs and cats. Though it begins there. Sort of.

Unlike consensual sex, which a person has a right to experience upon attaining legal age for it, rape is an act of violence where the perpetrator does not always care if his victim has attained sexual maturity. Minors, toddlers, even babies – of all genders – are raped more frequently than we want to know, most often by people known to them. People they trusted.

There’s the rub. So, whom can you trust?

My wife, for reasons she can justify, distrusts men in general. In her book, no one is a saint. Everyone – no exceptions here – starts at a zero-trust level and then works their way up, if at all. It’s an approach that is effort-intensive and stressful; it requires her to keep a sharp, paranoid eye on our little girl at all times. Often, when she deputes me to stand in, I can tell she’s not entirely confident of my level of alertness to danger. I’m comfortable with that for the most part, but there’s one thing of which I’m watchful: I don’t want our daughter growing up fearing the world she must at some point confront on her own. 

We both want her to understand danger, to be able to read the warning signs, and to act appropriately to save her skin. We want her to be able to cope positively in adversity. We want her to be confident about her body, not resentful of it. We want her to feel proud of her femininity, not threatened or vulnerable on account of it.

There’s no easy way. We started the conversation with an iPad app for kids that confirmed her suspicions that male and female bodies are indeed different and work differently. While bathing her and dressing her, we encourage her to talk about her body without shyness or reserve. We tell her about parts of her body that are “private”, which only she and her caregivers can examine or touch, and in what circumstances it is all right for them to do so. We tell her about “good touch” and “bad touch” – and debate endlessly over the social mechanics of it. We drill her on how to respond and react if she thinks a touch is “bad” and how, and whom, to call for help. From time to time, when we get lost, we turn to The Yellow Book: A Parent’s Guide to Sexuality Education and other online resources

None of this, we know, is going to erase rape from the world, or keep the headlines from screaming. At least not until fundamental systemic changes take effect in our society. Meanwhile, the questions, when they come, will fly at us thick and fast. I try to wrap my head around the answers I will give. I try to frame them mentally so that they sound neither unconvincing nor terrifying. Both are undesirable outcomes – the last thing we want is to have her believe that sexual abuse or rape isn’t serious enough to be talked about, or develop a fear of it so overblown and irrational that it cripples her for life. 

I have but one chance to get this right.

Looking up from a book she is reading, my daughter smiles. Maybe she can read my mind.
Bijoy Venugopal is Editor, Travel.
Source - Yahoo Lifestyle Entertainment

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